New years Day 2010

Happy New year. Already lining up to be a good year. Woke at 6am which is always a blessing when I wake early and have a good start on the day. I spent a few hours revisiting my old diary and looking at my achievements and reading up on predictions for the new year to come. We are in Capricorn at the moment so I looked up what Capricorn is experiencing for 2010. I have a Capricorn rising. I am intending on following the signs each day and will visit a friends web site and tune in to the readings for the day. Will see how this goes. I am not making any major goals for this year except to follow the divine direction of God and to create a little in my artist journals each day. I have my other routines of beach walks and biking and yoga each day and my prayers and meditation. I will continue to see my friends and family often and I am carving out a little bit more home time including 2 days in a row when I can manage and already penned in 3-4 days at home around the new year like this year.
Today I am planning to sew a top. Let's see how I go with that goal!!!
Do you do anything special for New years day?
lots of love from susan in australia

Friends when vulnerable

Dear friends,
On occasion I have rung a friend when I have felt overwhelmed just for a chat or a visit. I am glad I have friends I can do that with. Do you reach out to friends when you are in need and vulnerable?

Lots of love from susan in australia

New Years Eve 2009

Dear friends,
I have been on the computer for nearly 6 hours. WHere does the time go. I have been emailing and commenting on discussions. I've been doing art in my artist journals. A few phone calls and staying in the cool as it is a hot day outside. I am planning a quiet New Years Eve night. I asked a couple of friends but most want to have a quiet time. Such a change as one gets older. As young people one had to go out and do something. I am glad I have so many happy memories of fire works in the city of Melbourne with all the crowds i couldn't cope with nowadays.
My new years aim is to go with the flow and take God's lead and direction in my life rather than be driven so much by my goals and objectives.
2009 has been a good year but I am in no mood to list all the years achievements as I used to do in the past. I am glad that it has been a good year. I will draw a rune for 2010.....will I draw it now....that would be nice to have it on my blog. I just saw a blog entry for 2006 New year. Meanwhile rune for 2010...the rune of sowelu...wish I could draw it here for you...it is about wholeness and would be wonderful for my mood swings from my mental illness to be smoother and more unified and whole. It also means the sun, the ultimate life force which is in tune with my wish of following divine energy.
lots of love from susan in australia

Journaling

Dear friends,
Every day I journal my concerns of the day and also what I think God is saying to me, advice of friends, things I have read and experienced. I find great help in my writings. Do you keep a journal? Do you observe answers in your writings?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Children's books

Dear friends,
I found a copy of Jack and the beanstalk being thrown out for hard rubbish for the council collection. I haven’t read it in years.My all time favourite book is Alice in Wonderland and then the Wizard of OZ. Not having had kids I didn't experience reading lots of children's books. I have started reading fiction again and will borrow some children's books from the library when I do.......great idea Suse! What is your favourite children’s book?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Youth at the church

Dear friends, I got a prompt from God this morning about working and doing service for the youth of the church. I could go to the youth service on Sunday nights. I have emailed one of the leaders of the church to ask for their guidance. I am excited at new prospects. I don't have experience with youth....does that matter. I have been looking at ways to do service at the church......seems an interesting direction. I saw a lot of the youth at the youth service. I will keep you posted.
Meanwhile my little bit of art each day in my artist journal is going well. I think I am in an echo of a zippy time. I was up early this morning and it is 2 weeks since my last 5 am start so still 2 weeks of being zippy although sleeping in. It will be interesting to see if I keep doing the artist journal in another couple of weeks.
My damaged knees from my fall at the shrine are still achy.
I have put on weight since Christmas and the fall. Not sure what the doctor will say. i will keep focused and can only be honest with what is happening. It has been nice having the break from biking and walks although today it was nice going for a short walk.
lots of love from susan in australia

When to do my art

Dear friends,
With my rapid cycling mood disorder my creative days were when I was up and zippy. Now my moods aren't swinging like they did and for the past few months I haven't had my painting and art time. I will need to look at other ideas of when to do it. I will need to do it when I am not necessarily in the mood but that it would be good to do some of my artist journals. Yesterday at my brothers I did a lot of sewing of knitted squares for my rug. I often do my writing so that is a blessing. I need to do a little step with my artist journals as I pass by my art desk. I am working on them today.
lots of love from susan in australia

The hero's journey

Dear friends,
I decided to stop doing my question a day on the various groups and here on my blog. It seemed timely to stop. I started and stopped a blog on my mental illness as I was finding it too distressing.
I am here today to mention that I am doing a workshop on the hero's journey and discovered and interesting entry about hero's journeys in last years journal.
I thought hero's journeys needed to be adventures to out of the way places rather than a spiritual journey into one self. i googled the hero's journey and found some great stuff and have started a folder all ready for my journey....which I already am on.....looking forward to the workshop.
I will still visit here from time to time. I like to look at my journey on line.
lots of love from susan in australia

Meditation

Dear friends,
MEDITATION...I do a walking meditation each day and find the rhythm of stepping and breathing comforting. I also do a seated meditation as well but only quite short. Do you meditate? What do you enjoy about it?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Negative thinking

Dear friends,
NEGATIVE THINKING...with my mood disorder I regularly have time when I slip into negative thinking. I try to catch what is bothering me and when I am feeling better offer solutions to myself or seek advice from others. How do you deal with your negative thinking?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Gratitudes

GRATITUDES.....I write 5 gratitudes in my journal at the end of each day. They help to remind me what a blessed life I have and to keep me thinking positively. Do you practice gratitude? How does it make you feel?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Experience

Dear friends,
EXPERIENCE....I love the experience of knowing things, being sure and familiar with something like when I am driving around my area when it is busy and I am experienced with the roads and driving. How do you find your experience? Does it give you confidence or do you need more experience?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Guidance

Dear friends,
GUIDANCE...I look to god for guidance in prayer. I look to friends and family for guidance and the world around me.
Where do you go for guidance in your life?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Trying anyway

Dear friends,
TRYING ANYWAY...I am a person who is willing to give things a try even if I don’t do it well. I’m usually glad I did. Are you willing to give things a try? Are you glad you did?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Praise

Dear friends,
PRAISE....As a hangover from my school days I have often found I get hooked into praise for what I am doing. I love putting things on my blogs and getting comments. I like sharing my art with my friends and being praised. I need to remember to live my life fully without the need for so much praise!! Do you need praise? Who gives it to you?

Lots of love from susan in australia

optimism

Dear friends,
OPTIMISM....I am an optimistic person nowadays and try to look on the bright side of things. I am optimistic about the future. Are you an optimistic person? How do you feel about the future?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Comfort

Dear friends,
COMFORT.....I find God a great comfort. I find nature and my writing are a comfort. My family and friends are definitely a comfort . I try to give them comfort in return. Where do you get your comfort from?
Who do you comfort?

Lots of love from susan in australia

under pressure

Dear friends,
UNDER PRESSURE.....When I am under pressure with too much to do I write a list of what is on my mind and needs doing and I prioritise the essentails and reallocate other things to a later date. I try to do a quick meditation, take a short walk or do some stretching exercises or deep breathing. What do you do under pressure and when you have too much to do?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Positive thinking

Dear friends,
POSITIVE THINKING...when I was younger I suffered a lot of depression. Nowadays I am very mindful of keeping my thoughts positive. Are you prone to negative thinking? Do you use positive thinking to get you out of it?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Trust

Dear friends,
TRUST....when I had a breakdown 7 years ago I really didn’t trust myself. It is taking time to gain trust in myself and acceptance. Do you trust yourself? Have you ever had your trust challenged?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Easy does it

Dear friends,
EASY DOES IT..is a quote often used by the Twelve step program (Alcoholics Anonymous, etc). I am a 12 stepper having given up smoking (Nicotine Anonymous) and now eating moderately
(Overeaters Anonymous). I have often pushed myself too hard and crashed and burned. Are you an easy does it person or do you push too hard?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Creativity in my daily life

Dear friends,
CREATIVITY AS PART OF OUR DAILY LIVES. Being creative is so important to me and I try each day to be as creative and joyful about my life as I can. I create in so many different ways and am always stretching myself in new directions. How are you creative in your daily life? How important is it to you?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Competitiveness

Dear friends,
COMPETITION....I have suffered a lot having a competitive streak. Nowadays I try to focus on my own objectives and try not to compare myself to others and to not be competitive. Are you competitive? Is this a good thing or not for you?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Inspiration

Dear friends,
INSPIRATION...I get lots of inspiration from my online friends, my other friends and family, from books, TV and life in general.I also get a lot from my journaling and from prayer. Where do you get your inspiration from?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Disappointments

Dear friends,
DISAPPOINTMENTS...We’ve all had disappointments in our lives. I am usually willing to take more chances and to move past the disappointment. How do you cope with disappointment?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Faith

Dear friends,
FAITH...when I gave up faith and hope that I would be able to get medication to help me with my mental illness a friend of mine kept faith and hope for me. She never gave up. I di find the right medication. Have you get friends or family that had faith and hope for you when you had given up?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Fear

Dear friends,
FEAR...I am fearful of my mum dying or traveling far from home. I am learning ways to challenge my fears like things I can do when my mum dies to help me grieve. What are you fearful of? What are you doing to challenge your fears?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Routines

Dear friends,
ROUTINES....I have routines of my prayers, yoga, meditation, emails, exercise bike, breakfast, gardening, oracles, daily beach walk. They help to stabilise me and keep my life on track. I also get a lot of joy from my routines as I enjoy what I do. What routines do you have? How do they make you feel?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Routines

Dear friends,
ROUTINES....I have routines of my prayers, yoga, meditation, emails, exercise bike, breakfast, gardening, oracles, daily beach walk. They help to stabilise me and keep my life on track. I also get a lot of joy from my routines as I enjoy what I do. What routines do you have? How do they make you feel?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Discouragement

Dear friends,
DISCOURAGEMENT...I often get discouraged in my life because of my ill health. I make great effort to change but often have set backs. Do you get discouraged? How do you handle it?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Friendship

Dear friends,
FRIENDSHIP...thinking about my friends I value their warmth, honesty, support, unconditional love and so many other things. What do you value about your friends?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Creative blocks

Dear friends,
CREATIVE BLOCKS....When I have a creative block I go for a walk, read something inspiring, share with my friends and family. Do you get creative blocks? What do you do to help get through them?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Ideas

Dear friends,
I am sharing my artist journals with friends and family who don’t do art and I love their comments and input. Do you ever go to other people who aren’t in your field of creativity for ideas?

Lots of love from susan in australia

To stop or not

Dear friends,
I am trying to figure out whether to continue this blog or not. I will keep my art blog but I don't know whether I will keep this one going.
lots of love from susan in australia

Patience

Dear friends,
PATIENCE...one of the greatest lessons I have learnt is to be patient. I find a lot of things in life take time to develop, to improve. Even today I practice patience. I do it as part of my prayers and meditation. Do you practice patience?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Patience

Dear friends,
PATIENCE...one of the greatest lessons I have learnt is to be patient. I find a lot of things in life take time to develop, to improve. Even today I practice patience. I do it as part of my prayers and meditation. Do you practice patience?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Being critical

Dear friends,
BEING CRITICAL..Part of me being a perfectionist which we talked about yesterday was being really critical of myself. Nowadays I try to be accepting of myself and realise I am doing my best and criticism doesn’t help. Are you overly critical of yourself? Or are you more accepting nowadays?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Perfectionism

Dear friends,
PERFECTIONISM..I have had this problem in my life where I have needed to be perfect at something or hadn’t wanted to bother. Whatever my idea of perfect was! Nowadays I am grateful for whatever attempt I make at things and give myself encouragement. Have you or do you suffer from perfectionism? What did or does it achieve for you?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Regret

Dear friends,
Regret...I try not to have regrets in my life. I try to make amends to myself and others for any regrets I get. Of course we all have regrets. How do you deal with your regrets?

Lots of love from susan in australia

A little each day

Dear friends,
My mum has shoulder problems which means she can’t do her much loved knitting more than 2 rows a day. She has knitted a jumper doing 2 rows a day and is knitting another one now. Amazing to see and so inspiring. I do a little art, gardening and other things in my day. Over the weeks, months and years it adds up. Is there something you could start doing a little of each day?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Talents

Dear friends,
TALENTS...you are gifted with many talents. Take time to list some of them down. Look at your newly discovered talents. Do you rejoice in your talents?
I used to really underestimate my talents. Over the past 7 years I have been trying to appreciate the gifts I have. I do very childlike art in my artist journals and I am learning to appreciate my style.

Lots of love from susan in australia

Baby steps

Dear friends
BABY STEPS..I learnt about baby steps only last year and have been doing them ever since with my artwork and in my life. I always used to try to do things in large steps and often failed. Slow and easy does it and taking things in manageable baby steps can achieve a lot. Do you do things in baby steps? What are you achieving?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Wonderously in love

Dear friends,
Are you wonderously in love with yourself? I have met very few people that are and yet those who celebrate life are truly in love with themselves but not in an egocentric or prideful way. They celebrate themselves in relation to the Universe. How can you love yourself more?
I am trying to learn to love myself more. I am quite overweight and am trying to accept myself for who I am. I exercise an hour and more a day and eat moderately and am slowly losing weight but even if I don't I hope to learn to love myself for who I am.

Lots of love from susan in australia

Living in the present

LIVING IN THE PRESENT.....Many people including Eckhart Tolle and Julia Cameron and many eastern mystics and self development gurus advocate living in the present. Do you live much in the present or often in the past or future. What are the benefits to you of living in the present? How does it help you creatively?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Finding water C2

Finding water...chapter 2...inhabiting the present....Julia receives a writing package from her sister that has her reminiscing about the past. What in you life triggers you to think of the past...letters, diaries, a movie, music? I find all these things remind me of my past. How do they make you feel? Do you have mostly good memories or sad?

Lots of love from susan in australia

Daily life with Julia Cameron

Dear friends, For the past few years I have been exploring Julia Cameron's wonderful books starting with The artist way. I belong to a fabulous yahoo group about Julia's books and have gotten into the habit of asking a daily question prompted from Julia's books. Thought you might like to read them so here is today's...
It is from chapter 2 of Julia's book Finding water....

Julia says “Artists love drama and when we do not create it on the page or on the stage, we often create it in our lives”. Is this true for you? I know I often look at my life and wish I had more of the drama of my youth....then perhaps not!

Lots of love from susan in australia

Weekly

Dear friends,
I am wanting to write in my blog each week but lack inspiration of what to share. I'm not sure what is more important...being inspiring or blogging once a week.
My main problem at the moment is my weight. I have had an obsession about my weight since I was a child and still do. I have been working with the doctor to lose weight as I have become quite obese since leaving work. I have been losing weight for 8 months very slowly and the doctor is thrilled. I can't tell any difference. The past few weeks the weight has gone back on and I am really anxious again.
I really don't overeat to the point of explaining why i am so overweight. I exercise over an hour and a quarter each day.
I think after I do some more journaling I need to realise I am OK the way I am. I need to be more accepting of myself.
Do you have weight problems and or problems with food and exercise?
lots of love from susan in australia

Conservatory

Dear friends, A few days ago I stayed overnight at a conservatory on the beach with a glass ceiling that looked up at the clouds and at bedtime to the stars. There were a few torrential downpours while I was there. A friend came late afternoon and we went out for dinner which was nice.
This is the last stay I will do on my own when I am in my flat mode. I need to be zippy and up to cope with unexpected happenings.
I am realising more and more that I am unlikely to travel far. I had great ideas of slowly getting the confidence up to travel in AUstralia and hopefully to New York. I can't see it happening with the way I am.
I need to learn to be satisfied with my life and its simplicity.
lots of love from susan in australia

Home alone

Dear friends,
Over recent years with my mental illness I have had trouble when I have a day home alone with no planned activities, friends to see. I get really anxious. I am usually fine if I am in zippy, up mode as my mind floods with ideas of what to do with my art, reading, writing. When I am quiet and my mind is less full I get really anxious. I often get panicky and go over to my mothers but today I want to see if I can ride it out. I feel so aware of myself like I am in a fish bowl. It gets like that when I am quiet.
Do any of you get anxious if you are home alone?
lots of love from susan in australia

Dali exhibition

Dear friends,
Great achievement going into the city last week to go to the National Gallery of Victoria for the Dali exhibition. I went in by train and had some lunch and went quickly around the exhibit taking in enough to make me happy but not making me too anxious with the crowds. I darted in and out of the queues going around all the paintings and drawings, etc. I then came home. I needed to sleep for an hour when I got home because it took a lot of my energy but I did it.
One fascinating thing I discovered is that it is good for me to journal while I am on the train. I journaled all the way on the train there and back and time went so fast and I wasn't anxious about the people on the trains. I will journal in future. Great discovery. Reading and knitting isn't as good.
I realise it won't be possible for me to do my 2 days in the city staying at the Windsor until I get more practice going to the city and dealing with the crowds. I am hoping to go into the city again to the Pompei exhibition at the museum. I will be in my quiet phase so it will be interesting to see if I decide to go. I am much better doing things when I am in my zippy, up phase.
Just keeping you up to date with what is going on.
I am certainly doing much better than 12 months ago and far better than when I started this blog.
lots of love from susan in australia

testing

Just for fun.....
I am trying to figure out how people do a link to a web site. I have never been able to do it. A friend sent me instructions years ago and I couldn't understand them....trying again.....


susan's blog

lots of love from susan in australia
PS Being zippy helps with figuring out things.
Been up since 2am having gone to bed at 9pm. My sleeping patterns are all out of whack which is usual for zippy time

New coffee and gift shop and going to church again

Dear friends,
I visited a new shop that has arrived in my local shops. It is a gift and coffee shop and I told the lady as I was buying a few things that I don't often have coffee out as I don't enjoy it. The next day I thought why don't I go and be amongst people and do some sketching and that is what I did. I had a delightful time sketching children's toys and had a great conversation with a man with two children about the coming grand final for the footy.
I decided I will do this more on my up days.
I am also planning to go to the Dali exhibition. The last time I went to a Dali exhibition was November 2002 just after I came out of hospital and was still really sick. Any wonder it has taken me a while to get my confidence up to return to seeing Dali again. I may get some good ideas for my art and story telling.
I went to the old Koornang Uniting Church today to hear my friend Susan preach. it was great to see all my old friends there. I got all these grand ideas of going back often but I know I am in an up mode and get grand plans. At least I know this fact now and can just live in the day.
Off to tarot day at a friends. Should be good to see old friends.
I am in a bit of an up mode and the bed is strewn with projects to do. The rest of the house is tidy and I only need to do the dishes before the cleaner comes tomorrow.
I am hoping to email again next SUnday. Sundays is church and days to relax and enjoy.
lots of love from susan in australia

A bit more realism

Dear friends,
It is another few weeks since my last up time. I only seem to blog here when I am on an up and zippy. Being really realistic this time though. I always get grand plans for traveling when I am on my ups and even when I am down I wish I could travel but realistically I am more a home body and visit friends in their homes too. My adventures out are usually to the local art galleries and the very occasional outing. I started this blog with high hopes of getting overseas especially to New York but realistically I rarely even get into town to see our own art gallery let alone the MET in NY.
I guess I think traveling is adventurous full of excitement and happenings and daily life isn't that.
I have bought a copy of Julia Camerons artist dates and it is full of little adventures and I have done many of them in my life. I realise that my life is more about the little adventures, the small achievements. Nothing makes me happier than a morning emailing friends and visiting my favourite sites. I also love afternoons visiting my friends and family. I love my daily visit to the same beach. I like my occasional adventures to local motels and places.
i have a very blessed life despite my mental illness.
Today is one of those days I acknowledge that. I have less high hopes and more gratitude today.
how about you?
lots of love from susan in australia

Barbie show!!!!!

Dear friends,
I love Barbie and have a nice little collection of them and have one or more displayed in my home for my pleasure. I love Barbie. Recently there was a Barbie exhibition in the city and I would love to go......how to cope with my anxiety. When I checked the web site to see what dates the exhibition was on there was only that day and it was going to close. What could I do. I had a busy day planned but my inner child kept saying...take me, take me to the Barbie show. So I did it. Felt the fear and did it anyway. I read on the train and took photos out the window to distract my anxieties. I had ticket problems and finding the place problems but I did it!!!! I got there and saw hundreds of Barbies. I didn't stay long as crowds add to my anxiety but I bought a few trinkets and headed home. I was so pleased with myself. Well done Suse. Well done.
lots of love from susan in australia

Progress

dear friends, Since last month I have a new gardener and had my first house cleaners. Yesterday i organised a nice new private lady to come and clean. So definite progress from last month. I am still only able to go away for overnight stays but am trying to think of strategies for how to do a two night away. This will be for next year sometime as I have commitments for the next few months with my overnight stays.
My latest up time only lasted a day this time which is strange. normally I am on the up cycle for 9 to 15 days. I am sleeping in and not able to get up because i am flat but notice I am quite energised during the day. All very new and not the usual cycles. I am realising i need to live in the day and just take one day at a time and do what i can with each day rather than live around the cycles. It has been a huge lesson for me.
I am very blessed to be able to do what i can with my mental illness and CFS. I need to count my blessings more than at the end of the day in my journal. I was doing gratitudes on my walk and during the day during my last down time.
i am doing really well with my weight loss as well. The doctor is really pleased. i am still overweight but 12 kilos lighter than I was which i should be more pleased about. I will work on this for this coming month. To be grateful for the weight loss i have achieved. The doctor said as long as i stay stable that is an achievement and this morning I have done way better than that. I am pleased. Now I just need to stay abstinent for the month.
lots of love from susan in australia

Disappointed but recovering

Dear friends, I have had a bad three weeks and realise I have been pushing too hard and it is unlikely I will be able to travel far for the foreseeable future. I had such high hopes and plans and was organising a 2 day away to a nearby coastal town of Geelong. It would be all too much I realise that. I am also not coping with my house and garden and am looking into a cleaner and gardener to help me out. I feel so disappointed that i haven't been improving more and coping. My wonderful friends including many emailers have been so encouraging these past few days at my realisation that I need to take things easier. Many friends tell me I need to appreciate that I can at least get away overnight. Many people can't even do that. I have email friends who can't get away because they are housebound. I need to be grateful. I now have 4 friends who live in New York where I would love to go so that is a blessing and I still have my beloved Sara jane who is in my novel who lives in New York so I can live through her. I wonder what is on at the MET at the moment!!! Thanks for all your love and support.
lots of love from susan in australia
PS As I am back in zippy mode I am plotting and scheming an idea of going into Melbourne in my next zippy phase. I realize I can't travel far when I am quiet and down but how far can I get in my zippy mode. I'll keep you posted

Traveling update

Dear friends, The main reason I write this blog is to share my ongoing challenge of overcoming my fears of traveling from home. I am still going to motels close to home and staying overnight. I go shopping, do my art, write, read and watch TV, have bubble baths and enjoy nice meals. I have been doing this for a while now.
Last week i ventured into the country an hour from home to visit an old friend and i got lost but still got there and am ready for another challenge.
This morning I have been up since 3.15 am so a bit zippy so I have been tossing around ideas for my next bit of traveling.
I still go to a local motel every couple of months and am getting to know the managers and the local restauranteur and other shops around.
I keep thinking about going into the city but keep chickening out. I am still succeeding with baby steps.
lots of love from susan in australia

Japanese Mountain Retreat

Dear friend,
I did it, I did it, I did it. I did the challenging drive to Montrose to the Japanese Mountain Retreat. I find all the trucks on the road and the unknown territory a bit scary but I stayed focused and I did it.
The retreat was tremendous. It was a lovely place amidst Australian bushland. I had a hot stone massage, a Japanese banquet, a spa bath by candlelight, drew, read, went for walks. Read my travel book of Japan.
One thing I realised though is my idea of going to a Japanese village for 10 days isn't workable. I'd get too lonely on my own. I was disappointed for a few weeks at the idea of not being able to travel overseas. Then I came upon the idea of New York again and staying at a hotel near the metropolitan Museum of Art and seeing my friends and I thought I can do that. Easy, breezy I can do that. I have already practiced a few overnight stays at motels and have been thinking today of going into Melbourne for a few days as a practice run and as an adventure.
I was going to stay near the zoo for a couple of days but a friend said she'd like to do a day trip so I have made a change of plans.
I feel so inspired this morning at the thought of going to New York and it is closer than I think. I thought it would take me years to get the confidence up but I am confident today. OK Susan one step at a time just lets see how Melbourne goes first. I am deciding when is good to go. I thought August.
Meanwhile I have my next overnight stay planned for Frankston only 30 minutes away. I'll get my car an oil change while I am there.
lots and lots of love from susan in australia

Hi

Dear friend,
Awake at 3am this morning and decided to get up and begin my day. My healthy living is in it's 8th week and I am off to the doctor for a check in. I have lost another couple of kilo so I am pleased. The daily routine is fabulous and I am not having sugar cravings now I have stopped eating sugar most days.
I am looking forward to going to the Japanese Mountain Retreat. This is my first big, big, big adventure just overnight into the hills. I also went to the travel agent to see how much it costs to go to Japan. Just wanting to know how much I need to have saved. I need a few more thousand so I have plenty of time to save up. I am going to start surfing the net looking at Japanese bed and breakfasts. Some how I have to find one that is close to a city with an airport and that is near a shrine and a few interesting places in walking distance. I want to make it as simple as possible.
Never imagined I'd be going to Japan before NY but the journey to NY is going to be a long one. I just found out an internet friend lives 40 minutes from NY so I have another friend there. I am so excited.
I have put up lots of inspiration on my visualisation board about Japan and my other travels. I have made some huge steps in the past few days.
I can feel it becoming more real. I priced a first class ticket to Japan and it is doable. I am thrilled. I am so, so thrilled.
Lots of love from susan in australia

Healthier living

Dear friend,
It has been awhile. Yes I am in my latest zippy mode. Don't usually blog when I am quiet and reflective. My latest escapade is to live more healthier. I have thrown out or given away all my cake, biscuits, lollies and cordial. I've bought lots of fruit, vegies and healthy food. I am now walking everyday and doing exercise bike and yoga. I have tried all this before but I weighed myself recently and was so shocked by how much weight i have put on. I also have an overweight friend who has diabetes that is out of control and it scares me to be like her with weight problems and diabetes. My doctor has kindly said he will see me each month to check in. I am really taking it seriously this time. I have tried to think of a program that I can do simply. At the moment the biking and yoga is only a few minutes and easily doable on my quiet time. In my next quiet time I will see how I go and how I can improve things. I will try and blog next time I am quiet to say how I am going.
Are you overweight? Do you have problems with your health because of unhealthy living?
lots of love from susan in australia

Tidying up

Dear friend, When i get zippy which is every 10 to 21 days I create lots of chaos in the house with books, letters, papers, artwork, needlework and not doing housework. I usually get quite distressed when the next quiet phase comes and the house is a mess. This time I have tidied up twice. It is like when I am at the motel and everything is in order. I am learning a lot from my motel visits. I am so pleased the house is tidy today and I can enjoy myself free of the chaos. Hopefully I won't make more. I am heading into my next quiet phase.
Do you get into chaos in the home or are you always organised?
lots of love from susan in australia

Another motel visit

dear friend,
As you know I go to a motel once a month to get used to traveling. I went again to a motel 10 minutes from home. I took all my art materials and did collages and art work. I did crochet and read and watched TV in the evening. I went to the local shops and saw an aquarium shop, went to a gem shop and bought a crystal and a beautiful shell and some things for bracelet making. I had Indian takeaway and had pancakes and bacon and maple syrup in the dining room for breakfast. I had a great time away. It gives me a break from home and I really feel I am on an adventure.
I have been a bit zippy this cycle. The house was full of activities and lists of things to do. I am tidying up these past couple of days trying to create order from the chaos. Been buying a few things too. Nothing I don't need assuming a crystal and shell are OK and I bought other things.
Would you ever go to a motel overnight near home?
lots of love from susan in australia

Not accepting my mental illness

Dear friend,
I went to my counsellor yesterday and we ended up talking about how I don't fully accept having a mental illness. I argued with him briefly but realised he is right. I came home heavy laden. I am not sure how to go about accepting my mental illness fully.
I still get really cranky because I can't travel far. I am certainly financially restrained although I don't often mention it I am aware of my penny pinching. I get upset because I sleep in so much and need so much sleep when I am a bit flatter. I get a bit upset when friends and family remind me I am a bit up at the moment or a bit flat.
Yes I have some homework to do on accepting my mental illness.
Do you accept your life with its limitations?
lots of love from susan in australia

Vein of gold

Dear friend,
I've been away a while from the blog as I have been in another quiet phase and not knowing what to say about it. I am back into zippy and the latest news is i am doing Julia Cameron's book The vein of gold with a group on www.coachcreativespace.ning.com
It is tremendous fun reading Julia's book with such a big enthusiastic group. Over enthusiastic student that I am I am doing lots of homework. i have even got an artist journal to celebrate some art work.
I have just done a time line of my life and am reviewing it. It is very challenging.
I'll report back with more news about this later.
Have you read any of Julia Cameron's books? Did you enjoy them?
lots of love from susan in australia