Sunday, September 30, 2007

Too many choices

I've gone from losing touch with my creativity in 2005 to 30 projects on the go. This is too many. How do you manage the flood of ideas, making choices of what to do, starting, progressing and finishing. I am going to add this as a forum discussion as I am interested in what you think.

Lots of love from Susan in Australia
PS I am in zippy mode and on 3-4 hours sleep. Needed a nap today. Always have to take each day as it comes and manage my energy the best way I can. It's challenging.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Being still

Dear friend,
For more than 25 years I have walked an hour a day on a meditation walk where I let go of my concerns and worries and meditate. Now I am retired I walk to the beach and back. Occasionally a friend comes with me or my family and they always suggest stopping on the way for a rest and a chat. The other day I thought why don't I ever stop on my walks and be I've started doing just that. It is a fascinating and surprising experience. I never realised how busy I am always doing something. I am finally learning to be still. I am doing the same with bubble baths where I don't read anymore I just lie and relax.

Lots of love from Susan in Australia

PS I am in a zippy up mode as it is another full moon and I am usually up before dawn and busy, busy, busy. I am looking at ways to enjoy the New moon time when I am usually oversleeping and doing very little. i find these times more difficult to manage.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Letting go ...surrendering

Dear friend,
I was inspired by Claude to chop up one of my Oprah magazines...but which one...I chose Letting go and surrendering. I read a few of the articles and realised how controlling I am as a person with all my lists and agendas and have tos. I get so stressed out at times ... often....I need to lighten up and let go and surrender to the Divine energy. Started as of yesterday....spooky feeling letting the day unfold rather than as a timetabled event. Of course I have had relaxing days in the past but they are usually holidays not how I usually live. As of now I literally surrender...I'm giving up the battle of trying to achieve so much and let my life unfold. What a revelation.

Lots of love from Susan in Australia
PS This will make a huge change in how I treat my mood swings....hopefully a bit more going with the flow rather than controlling

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Collaging an Oprah magazine

Dear friend,
I was just reading how Claude collaged an Oprah magazine and I thought oh my goodness....I love my Oprah magazines.....I couldn't chop them up. Funny really because I have journaled in the magazines whereby I write in all the blank areas. I love journaling in magazines so I can enjoy the magazine and the illustrations and articles while I journal. I can alter the magazine by writing all over it but was horrified at the thought of chopping it the idea delights me....I can't wait to see which one I choose...a nice large one or a thin one...on what topic? I'll add the collage pages to my healing journal. Thanks for the inspiration Claude.

Lots of love from Susan in Australia
PS I've just survived another really bad down time. i am journaling about what I actually do manage to achieve in my bad times and I really do much more than I imagine

Saturday, September 15, 2007

feeling sorry for myself

Just want to feel sorry for myself's as good a place as any....there is probably just me here new medication that was supposed to work really well made me even sicker with really high highs and really low lows. In the scheme of things this isn't any big deal. It's not life threatening as i doubt I'd ever attempt suicide again......just feel grumpy and angry and sad and sorry for myself. I was hoping to be able to do a lot more with my life rather than blogging and beach walks....luckier than some.... When I get high i have all these grand ideas of what I'll do with my life and then in a few days all the ideas dissolve into hopelessness. I had a phonecall from a real estate who informed me i had told him I was coming into an inheritance and was going to buy some property!!!!! least I didn't sell the house. Right now I'd like to chat with another rapid cycler and we could both feel sorry for ourselves without any one telling us to be glad for what we do have etc etc etc....i keep a gratitude journal so tonight I will list all my gratitudes for today which won't include my complaining here.
I do not want to go back to my psychiatrist as i am so tired with my moods and not knowing form one day to the next what mischief I am up to.
From one very grumpy Susan in Australia

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Favourite possession

One of my favourite possessions is a mug with two of my now deceased cats on it. I love using it because it often reminds me of them and my friend who gave it to me.

What is your favourite possession and why?

Lots of love from Susan in Australia

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Been promising myself

I've been promising myself I'll be more accepting of my nature and health problems. I've been promising myself to lighten up more. I've been promising myself to exercise more and to eat more moderately.
What promises have you made to yourself? Have you kept them?
Lots of love from Susan in Australia

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Duplicating blog

Dear friends,
I do a daily blog on a creative group on Ning and thought I would duplicate it here as well for those who don't belong to the group.
I love getting older and learning more about life and how to live better. I certainly enjoy life better now I know better. I am wiser and more experienced and can look back on the past with gratitude for what I have experienced and learned.

Are you improving with age? How?

Lots of love from Susan in Australia

PS I've just been through another quick manic phase and overbooked my calendar and having to ring people to cancel and make life more realistic.

Monday, September 3, 2007

New meds

Dear friends,
New meds have kicked in. I am dealing with tired, chaotic times much better. Quite often when I am in my busy, zippy, up mode I create a lot of activities and things around the house, my art work. etc and other activities and it becomes quite chaotic. Then I get suddenly overwhelmed , tired and distressed. I rarely can get myself out of it for some time and have resorted to phoning my mum to help me sequence my thinking into how to clear up.
These meds are helping to sequence clearing up the chaos and not creating so much chaos in the first place.
Still don't know if the meds are going to make me more down as they did when I first went on them and got really, really anxious. Time will tell.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia