Been to mum's overnight

I stayed at mum's for 2 weeks while I had my unit painted. As we enjoyed ourselves so much I said i would come over once a month to have a sleep over. We had a great time last night, this morning and today. it was lovely having her company and doing lots of talking and sharing the space.
Do you see your mum often?
lots of love from susan in Australia

Creativity

I'm doing a 30 day challenge about the creative things I am doing in each day. I have to report in to the site and write down what I have done. I am in zippy mode at the moment so I am doing so much in a day. i am often up at 4.30 am and going to bed at 12 midnight so lots of creativity in a day. It will be interesting to see what I do when I go quiet. it will be interesting to see if I blog as well. Time will tell. I never know what to write about when i am in my quiet cycle.
lots of love from susan in australia

Inner child

I made these paper dolls to celebrate my inner child and adult. I do a lot of inner child work and am always inviting my inner child to come out to play.
Do you play with your inner child often?
lots of love from susan in australia

Bible reading

Dear friend,

Been reading the bible with friend but haven't enjoyed jumping all over the place which she says. Discovered Hazel's bible yesterday along with how to read the bible from my last minister. I prayed about how to continue and synchronicity keeps coming up to read Romans. Don't know why this is important but I will read it. I will read commentary's as well.
Do you read the bible?
lots of love from susan in australia

My other blog

Dear friend
Today's highlight is resuming my old blog A prayerful life. I used to keep a record of my drawings on it but I don't have to do that I can record all my artistic endeavours. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. it will be a great reminder of my journey. I'll just do recent things at the moment and then add as I go along.
I was up again at 4.30 so another zippy day. Yesterday went well being up at 4.30 and didn't need a snooze and got lots achieved.
I've just started reading a fabulous book about intuitive healing. My counsellor Dale is an intuitive healer. he is awesome. i will be seeing him tomorrow.
What healers do you have in your life? Counselors, doctors, dentists, masseuses, etc?
lots of love from susan in australia

Healing with the moon

Dear friend,
I am a great believer in astrology and love the transit of the moon. I have read a lot about the healing nature of the moon and am trying to get myself into the practice of celebrating the new moon and the full moon. I have an oil burner and candles and flowers on an altar to celebrate. I have a book of celebration ceremonies.
Each day I hope to notice the star sign the moon is in and do some healing and celebrating of that sign.
Today is Capricorn. Hard working, ambitious, responsible, serious, respectful, committed, controlling, dutiful, tough and lusty. Capricorn is my ascendant and present in me a lot.
I am doing a felted piece of artwork for each star sign and work on them when i am in the mood.
Do you celebrate the lunar cycle?
Lots of love from Susan in Australia

Photography

Dear friend,
How are you today? Here I am again this morning. It is zippy time at the moment so up early.
When I got the digital camera I was in quiet mode so couldn't see why i got one and didn't know how to use it and felt despondent. Now I am in zippy mode my mind is flooded with ideas of what to take. Yesterday i did photos of the inside of my friends house. I spend so much time at the houses of my friends I thought i would celebrate by taking photos. Today i am headed for the local cemetery. I am going by train to practise my phobia of using public transport and traveling from home.
Another big achievement was going to Richmond ( a suburb about 40 minutes away) with my friend and going to a shop for us big women. I had to come home and rest for 2 hours after I did it but I did it and was so thrilled. I still find going out of my comfort zone very challenging. I am trying to do them as Artists dates which is part of Julia Cameron's books...example The artist's way.
That's it for this morning.
I was telling my friend all about my blog and she didn't know what a blog was!!
See you tomorrow.
Lots of love from susan in australia
PS Sometimes i wish you weren't a lurker and so quiet but I understand your shyness more than you know
PPS my novel with Sara Jane is going to be a book of letters

Lots to do

I had a fascinating dream last night that showed me that I have a lot of creativity going on in my life. i have so many things I can do with my art, needlecrafts, painting, writing, artists journals, painting, gardening and cooking. This weekend i have 2 days at home to do whatever I please along with a bit of housework. i am seeing friends in the evening which is a nice focus for the day. I am a bit zippy at the moment so achieving a lot. I also can remember quiet times when everything is put aside and I just reflect.
Do you have a busy or quiet life?
Lots of love from susan in australia

Different selves

I am well aware of my quiet self and zippy self when my moods change. I had to do an exercise for a Julia Cameron book and she said to write about your different selves. I realise I have part of me that wants to travel and go places but I also have a part of me that likes to stay home and not go very far. The homebody is winning most of the time. I am trying to develop my traveling part by going away overnight once a month and going on train trips and other outings. It will be a long time before I can travel far. I have mentioned before that I have huge confidence problems with traveling to strange places.
Do you have different selves? Are they in conflict?
lots of love from susan in australia

Friends come and go

When I was very ill with mental illness I made and lost a lot of friends because I was so unpredictable and unreliable. It is interesting nowadays that i am more even in my behaviour and moods that friends still come and go. My most disappointing loss was another friend who has bipolar. She would get very sick every 18 months or so and ended up in hospital each time. I found these times deeply disturbing and finally had to tell her I couldn't be her friend anymore as it was affecting my own recovery. She would often mention not taking her medication and getting up to other mischief which I found enticing. I was thinking of her today on my beach walk and I miss her a lot. There were so many great qualities about her. It is another price I pay for my mental illness. Losing friends I realise happens to everyone so I am learning to go with the flow. I am grateful for the friends I do have.
Do friends come and go in your life?
lots of love from susan in australia

Supporting friends

I was just talking to a friend who is needing love and support. I was telling her she was on my mind over the past few days and I was wanting to contact her but didn't want to be a bother. Having a history of mania I have often been a bother to people by contacting them too much in my enthusiasm and being manic. Nowadays I am overly cautious and often don't contact people when I could.
Are you confident in your relationships with friends?
lots of love from susan in australia
PS Rosemary gave me confidence to get out and take some photos. I have been busy taking some. Still need to get used to the view finder. Not as clear as on a film camera

Music in your life

For homework for my writers group we had to write about music in our life. I don't play music very often. I love the peace and quiet. Thinking about music in my life makes me sad. i miss it. I need to do some more writing as to why i don't play it very often. I think it has something to do with the fact that I often played music when i was manic and got myself into all sorts of trouble. I need to detach music from these memories and build some new ones and get music back into my life.
Do you play music often? What sorts?
lots of love from susan in australia

New camera

I bought a new camera when I was in my last zippy up and had great ideas of places to go to take photos. Now I'm in my low time i don't know why I have got it. I've just charged the battery and haven't a clue how to use it. The guide book is huge. Will I wait to see my friend to help or do it on my own. I doubt I can follow instructions now as i am so low in energy. I'd love to have one of those blogs full of lovely photos. I would if I had the energy. There was zippy time last year when I did daily blogging and added photos. I hope when I am in my next up that i can tell you i am taking photos.
Do you have a digital camera?
lots of love from susan in australia
PS Sorry I'm in such a mope

In a slump

I am in a low time again. It happens month in and month out. A few up and zippy days and then days of low energy and feeling despondent. My mind goes slowly and I don't feel inspired to do things. I get concerned about the things i have planned on my zippy time. i try to be gentle in my quiet times. I try to be positive. I still do my emails and keep up my visiting and activities so i am not so bad. I'm not depressed like I used to be years ago. That was really hell.
Do you have mood changes?
lots of love from susan in australia

My home and mental illness

When I became really ill with mental illness i realised i could no longer look after my large house and garden and decided to move into a smaller unit (house) in a suburb near the beach. It only has a small garden to look after. I am sad about leaving my old garden as it was large and rambling and all the windows of the house looked out onto it. Life is much more manageable here where i am though. I live closer to my mum and to friends which is good.
Have you had to move because of illness?
lots of love from susan in australia

For others

Today I am tired and would like to stay home and rest but.....my mum and I belong to the Embroiderers Guild and they have a lecture on today about fans and my mum would like to go. I do the driving and I don't want to disappoint her by not going so pray for me that I find some energy.
Do you do things for other people?
lots of love from susan in australia

One day at a time

One lesson I learn over and over is to take one day at a time. I am always looking at the week ahead or the month ahead and getting overwhelmed. Yesterday I was doing it and just getting so stressed. I forget to just stay in the day and go from one activity to the other gently and mindfully.
Do you stay in the day or do you race ahead?
lots of love from susan in australia

tiredness and mental illness

I find my mental illness makes me very tired. It seems to take a lot of energy to mentally process things. When there is a lot going on in my life i get tired of the thoughts that I need to make to sort things out. As you know I often sleep 12 hours a day and a lot of this is because of the mental fatigue. I have never been diagnosed but I think I have Chronic fatigue syndrome. I used to suffer bad migraines and sore joints and many other symptoms of CFS. The symptoms have improved except for the fatigue and sleeping.
Do you suffer from fatigue?
lots of love from susan in australia

Time

I don't have enough time to do everything I want to do so I have been spending small amounts of time doing what i love and enjoy. Mornings now are some writing, dance, gardening, artwork and meditation before doing my emailing and interneting. I see my friends on a regular basis and take my knitting and do it while we chat and catch up. I have a monthly massage and see a counsellor. I see my psychiatrist regularly. I do daily walks and visit my mum 3 times a week. I am going away overnight each month and do other appointments as the needs arise.
i am hoping to find more time for my art work which I enjoy but time is limited with everything else I do. i also belong to a few groups like gardening and embroiderers guild
what do you do with your time?
lots of love from susan in australia

Joy and mental illness

Having suffered depression for so many years and attempting suicide a few times I never imagined that life could be joyous and happy most of the time. Since coming out of psych hospital my life has just gotten better and better. Most of my days are joyous and full of friendship and creativity, adventure and discovery. Of course I still have my problems some to work on and some to accept unsolved but mostly I am joyous.
I wish I could tell more people with mental illness to never give up hope. You never know what changes are in store.
Do you have a lot of joy in your life?
Lots of love from susan in australia

New car

Here's me and my new car. i am so thrilled. Now that I am planning to travel overnight once a month for awhile and then hopefully farther afield it is great to have a new car. I am so blessed. I saved hard. Having mental illness I have often spent money unwisely so I am glad I am much better now and can be relied on to save.
Are you a good saver or a spender?

5th October 2008 happy birthday to me

Happy birthday to me. I love, love, love birthdays. I love all the attention and fuss. I love the cards, presents, emails and best wishes and all the surprises. Birthdays also make everyone else happy and joyous too. I got a new cherry red hatchback for my birthday this year so super special birthday. I also got a monk statue for my garden which is a lovely blessing for my garden. i am trying to do more gardening and monk will entice me out. I can see him from my library window.
Off to visit some of my friends to celebrate. I also went away overnight which is another huge achievement as traveling away from home is very difficult for me. I notice each time I do it i am getting better.
Must go.
Lots of love from susan in australia

Flood of ideas

Often when I am a bit manic or a lot I get a flood of ideas. I want to start lots of different activities, I want to make lots of phone calls and emails and I get quite overwhelmed. In recent years I have used a notebook and journals to note down my ideas and to keep track of what I am trying to achieve in the day. I find it helpful to sort things out on paper and to choose what to do next.
How do you deal with busy times when you have too many ideas?
lots of love from susan in australia

Money and mental illness

I am picking up my new cherry red Toyota Corolla hatchback today. I'll then take my friend for a spin down the beach. I am so, so glad to be getting it as i never imagined I could afford it being on a pension. It is a real challenge going from a full paying job onto a pension. When I was really sick I didn't manage my money well and often thought I was a lot wealthier than i was and would buy foolish things. I am so glad that I haven't been as mentally ill as some people. i have never got myself into serious trouble with money and have always met my financial commitments and paid my bills on time. I think my guardian angel must have been looking after me all these years.
Do you have financial problems? I'll put you in my prayers for some resolutions to them if you do.
lots of love from susan in australai

My dad

I went to my counsellor yesterday and we talked about my dad. It was really great to be able to finally accept that he is at peace. He died 18 years ago and I have always regretted not being able to know him since I have been well on my medication. He has only ever known me as very, very mentally ill. I believe people are in our lives to learn various lessons and I finally accept that dad and I shared our lessons. He didn't need to stick around for my getting well. I can now look at the picture of him beside my bed and be at peace about our relationship. I finally have no regrets.
Do you have anyone that has died where you still have regrets?
Lots of love from susan in australia