Not so talkative

Dear friend,
When I was really sick I used to talk a lot. I never realised how talkative I was until my mother told me and other friends also mentioned it. When I came out of hospital i was very quiet and life was very different for me. My mind went much slower on my new medication. Nowadays I still don't talk a lot when i am in my quieter mood. My mum says i get quite chatty in my zippier times.
Do you talk much?
lots of love from susan in australia

Staying at mum's overnight

Dear friend,
Once a month now I stay at my mum's overnight. She is 81 and loves my visits. I go for meals three nights a week as well. We have been through some very bad times with my mental illness. Now that I am stabilised we are building a lovely close relationship. I was up early and did journaling and read and then I climbed into mum's bed and we lay there chatting for an hour. We got up and had breakfast together and then spent the morning together. I went for a walk. Mum can't walk far anymore which is a shame but she is managing. We had a lovely lunch and then spent the afternoon together. I had to lie down for part of it but mum is used to my fatigue and is always supportive.
Do you see your parents often? What sort of relationship do you have?
lots of love from susan in australia

Problem solving

Dear friend,
I often get problems I can't solve immediately. i write them down and journal about them. I also look out for information about the problem from friends, family, the internet and books. I usually find the answers appear. Sometimes I have to try things out and they don't work the first time and I have to try something else.
How do you solve your problems? Do you journal? Who'd advice do you seek?
lots of love from susan in australia

Gratitude

Dear friend,
I keep a gratitude journal and every night I write down 5 things that I am grateful for in the day. It helps me to see my day and my life in an appreciative and loving way. I am always amazed at how small some of my gratitudes are. It may be a bird flapping in my birdbath or a strangers smile.
Are you grateful for things in your life? Do you have a gratitude journal?
lots of love from susan in australia

Miracles and mental illness

Dear friend,
I have just been reading about miracles. My major miracle is no longer suffering from depression. It's been six years now. I am so grateful.
Have you had miracles in your life? Do you believe in miracles?
lots of love from susan in australia

Family and mental illness

Dear friend,
I was with my small family on the weekend...my brother, sister in law and mum. There are also two nephews and that's it. Very small indeed. No extended family that I see except a cousin I email.
My family found it very hard to accept I had a mental illness. When I went into hospital all that changed and they were suddenly really supportive and caring. I was also shocked into realising how bad I had become. I have been on medication and seeing my psychiatrist regularly ever since.
Are your family supportive? Do you have a small or big family?
Lots of love from susan in australia

Reincarnation

Dear friend,
I have always had feelings that I have lived here on earth before this life particularly when I have been traveling. I have also felt that i have met certain friends and people before and lived another lifetime with them. Yesterday I decided I believe in reincarnation. Because of my mental illness I never wanted to think of living another life full of suffering. Now I realise life can be a great experience and I'd like to give a few more a go.
Do you believe in reincarnation? What lives have you led?
lots of love from susan in australia

Change

Dear friend,
I've just been reading how life is ever changing. I've been thinking about all the changes in my life from being seriously ill with mental illness particularly the mania and depression to being a lot more stable nowadays.
What sorts of changes have you had in your life? How have you coped?
lots of love from susan in australia
PS I went and stayed at a motel overnight and had a tremendous time shopping, reading, writing, even a bubble bath.

life's purpose

Dear friend,
The metaphysics course that I am doing raised the idea that nothing in life happens by chance, that everything happens for a reason. I tend to believe that. I like to think there is a divine power that leads me through the lessons I have to learn. I like to believe that people come into my life to teach me things and that experiences happen to me for the same reason. I like to believe there is some higher purpose to my life and to life in general.
Do you believe life is random or that there is a purpose and meaning to it?
lots of love from susan in australia
PS I am off on another overnight stay on my own. Another little adventure. Hopefully they will become bigger adventures. Do you go on adventures? Big and small?

Aloneness

Dear friend,
Today I received the books for my correspondence course which will take the next 8 weeks. I am so excited but also apprehensive at how I will go. The course is on spirituality.
I have set my goal for the course as .....living more confidently with my aloneness. Although I am single and live alone and spend a lot of time alone I get quite anxious at times with my aloneness. I have so many things I can do but mostly I need to be able to live with myself. The major challenge is living with my changing moods particularly the quiet times when I am less busy.
I will share my journey.
Today I learnt that I am mostly a spiritual being learning to be more at peace with myself.
the principles in the first session were...
1. I am a spiritual being
2. To be fully human is to be divine, and to be divine is to be fully human
3. Aloneness is a virtue, loneliness is a disease
4. There is an ego and a real self within me. I have an earthly identity and a spiritual identity.
lots of love from susan in australia

the movies

Dear friend, When I first started this blog I was trying to learn how to cope with new places. I found it really hard going to the movies and being in the crowds and parking at the busy shopping mall. I went to the movies yesterday and I was just fine. I was thinking how far I have come with my confidence. i have become quite used to going to the movies. I hope I get used to traveling as well. i have a way to go. With my last motel visit I had to rest for 2 hours at the motel and the next day and a half I had to rest but I managed it. Maybe that is all I will ever be able to do is stay overnight somewhere. That is an achievement and a break away. i am grateful and who knows maybe I will get better.
Do you have improvements happening in your life?
lots of love from susan in australia

cancel psychiatrist

I am going through my latest quiet time when I get flat and unmotivated. I've cancelled going to my writers class today which is unusual. I want to cancel going to psychiatrist tomorrow. It's so tiresome going and saying the same old things and knowing nothing can be done. Sorry for complaining today. Just thinking while I'm writing. I suppose I need to see the psychiatrist when I am like this. I have been going on an up for the last few visits. Yes I'd better go and my mum kindly comes with me to help motivate me.
Do you ever skip seeing the doctor when you know you should go?
lots of love from susan in australia

Overwhelmed

dear friend,
It's that time on my rapid cycling where i feel tired and overwhelmed by what has to be done. The house is messy from all the creating i did during my last zippy phase. The housework needs doing but I am too tired to do it. I am waiting for a tradesman to phone me about the roller door that isn't working. Not sure how to progress with today.
Do you ever get overwhelmed by what has to be done? How do you cope?
lots of love from susan in australia

Overnight stay

Been away overnight at a motel with my mum. We had a great time and stayed in a motel in the town where my brother lives so we visited him for tea and watched TV. I find going away overnight very challenging with my chronic fatigue syndrome and my mental illness as I get very fatigued and overwhelmed by the new places. I had to lie down in the afternoon after a luncheon my mum and i went to. I also had to rest in bed in the morning. I still had a good time and I am glad we went. It is 35 degrees centigrade which is hot.
lots of love from susan in australia

Lonely

Felt quite lonely yesterday. I went to two art galleries and came home and did some writing. I went for a walk. i did some washing. I have been like this before and wrote down things to do and paced myself through the day. i decided not to go to my mums which i often do when I am lonely. I have spent so much of my life alone. I guess some of us never get used to it. I haven't after 53 years.
Do you get lonely?
lots of love from susan in australia

lonely

Between quiet and zippy

I definitely have zippy fast thinking times and then I have quiet time when I can barely think at all. Very slow and unproductive. Having studied my moods I realise there is a time between them when I am mellow and cruisy and doing things but neither zippy nor quiet. These times are particularly relaxing and pleasant and easy to live with.
Do you have a lot of different moods?
lots of love from susan in australia

Very public

Dear friend,
I am very public about my mental illness. I usually mention it to new people in my life quite early on and I am public on line. I never know who's life I will touch by sharing openly. I have had a lot of people talking to me about their mental illness because i have been so open. I understand people being private though.
Are you a private or public person?
lots of love from susan in australia

emailing

Dear friend,
I do a lot of emailing each morning to friends and to people on web groups. I just love it and am so inspired by people's love and support. I got lots of encouragement for my 30 day challenge today.
Off i go to do a lot of emails. Hope to hear from you some day soon.
lots of love from susan in australia

Creativity challenge

I'm doing a challenge of being creative every day for 30 days. It is part of a web group I belong to on creativity. I am amazed with how creative I am each day. I like to do lots of different things like knitting, crochet, beading, wall hangings, sewing, painting, gardening, cooking, stamps, etc. I also do a lot of reading on creative things. I am really impressed. I will keep noting down what i am doing each day creatively to keep me in touch with it. I have been zippy for about 10 days so that has helped a lot. I will be interested to see what I do in my quiet phase.
Are you a creative person?
lots of love from susan in australia

A bit tired yesterday

I've been zippy for more than 10 days and getting up at 4.30 - 6 am in the morning and doing my activities. I have gotten a lot done and enjoyed myself. Yesterday i was tired and had to lie down for a couple of hours to rest. This morning I was back into 10.30 get up. Still lots of ideas on my mind so still a bit zippy.
How are your moods? Do you often get tired?
lots of love from susan in australia

Zippy

Still zippy and got up at 5 am. I have creative projects all over the house. Not sure what will happen when I go into my quiet time. I still can't remember what I do when I am quiet except crosswords at mums. How strange not to remember. I am now going to keep a journal about it assuming the quiet aspect remembers to journal. I am keeping a log of my creative activities for a 30 day challenge i am doing for a creative group. I will be in quiet mode for some of it. Interesting times indeed.
Do you have zippy and quiet time?
lots of love from susan in australia