Just want to feel sorry for myself ...here's as good a place as any....there is probably just me here anyway...my new medication that was supposed to work really well made me even sicker with really high highs and really low lows. In the scheme of things this isn't any big deal. It's not life threatening as i doubt I'd ever attempt suicide again......just feel grumpy and angry and sad and sorry for myself. I was hoping to be able to do a lot more with my life rather than blogging and beach walks....luckier than some.... When I get high i have all these grand ideas of what I'll do with my life and then in a few days all the ideas dissolve into hopelessness. I had a phonecall from a real estate who informed me i had told him I was coming into an inheritance and was going to buy some property!!!!!.....at least I didn't sell the house. Right now I'd like to chat with another rapid cycler and we could both feel sorry for ourselves without any one telling us to be glad for what we do have etc etc etc....i keep a gratitude journal so tonight I will list all my gratitudes for today which won't include my complaining here.
I do not want to go back to my psychiatrist as i am so tired with my moods and not knowing form one day to the next what mischief I am up to.
From one very grumpy Susan in Australia
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I am so much more aware than I was 4 years ago. i am so pleased with my progress. i am so glad I have kept this blog
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