Awake

I've had a few nights sleeping 12-13 hours and now I'm swinging into the being awake at 1.30 am and not being able to sleep. I'm quite used to the cycles of too much sleep and then normal sleep....getting up at midday and then getting up at 6am. I forced myself out of bed the other morning and was quite spaced out for the day...not a good feeling. Sometimes I can force myself to get up and I'm OK.
I've been checking out the blogs of some other people with mental illness and they are inspiring and help me to keep going. Some of them have the same problems with anxiety and panic outside of their comfort zones. I am doing really well going to the movies and the busy shopping complex but I think part of it is it is becoming familiar. I want to go to an exhibition in the city and I am quite anxious about the train trip and all the unfamiliar places. It's been a long time since I have been to the city. I am trying not to beat myself up about it. I pencilled it in for this Thursday but I am already chickening out and it's only Tuesday morning.
My moods have been stable now for over 10 weeks. It's been incredible. I am going through my quiet phase at the moment when I don't do a lot and am not zippy but my mood is still quite contented and OK.....no down time. It's such a great experience. It was really pleasant today to just relax and do very little without getting down and depressed. i am seeing the psychiatrist on Friday and it will be interesting to see what he has to say about my mood still being so stable.
I'll try and go to sleep again.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia

Good times

I've been upbeat and positive now for 9 weeks. The challenge now that the initial excitement is over and the positive times keep happening I need to plan some quiet time. For most of my life the moods would bring me down where I could have quiet time to organize the flurry of activity. At the moment there are numerous art projects around and lists of things to do. My mind keeps staying productive. Today I am having a home day to put away some of the projects and to sort out all the ideas into a more manageable list of potential activities.
I definitely have more insight into my moods and have a better ability to manage what is happening than the past.
It is still strange having such a different life after years of rapid mood swings. I realise it is early days yet so I will see what happens over the coming weeks. I'll keep you up to date. I hope the omega 3s are the cause of all this because it would be fabulous news for many other sufferers of rapid mood swings.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia

The Artist's way

I'm going to reread The artist's way by Julia Cameron with a yahoo group. We start on Tuesday and I'm really looking forward to it. I read the introduction and refreshed my memory about morning pages and artist's dates. I never used to do morning pages last time as I resented the time I was spending that I could have used to do the art work I wasn't doing. I did art work - collaging and painting instead. This time around I am already doing my artwork so I decided to start the morning pages. As I love writing it's just another excuse to write. I am loving it already.
The artist's dates I've been doing since I last did TAW. I love making a special event each week to focus on how much I am enjoying life. I am amazed at how far I have come since I was told about TAW. I remember racing to the library to see if they had it and having to wait patiently for it to arrive. I devoured the book and even found myself a mentor to encourage me. It was a life changing experience. When I read Julia's book on walking and realised I was already doing my daily inspirational walks I became even more enthused.
Enjoy the journey
Lots of love from Susan in Australia

Hi this is me!!!

Aiming to put my photo on the blog profile as it looks better when I am posting comments to have a smiling face rather than the blank characture that comes up.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia

PS Tried to add photo to blogger profile but got an error message from blogger...bx-uv7r3p...haven't a clue how to notify them of the problem. I'll try again later

A friend's boatshed

Today I am visiting a friend's boat shed. It is a wonderful, magical little shed on the beach. The shed is full of books, magazines, buckets and spades, chairs, a bed and lots more. We sit and have coffee and chat. I usually walk along the beach. In Summer we swim. It continues to be a magical place of healing for my chronic fatigue syndrome and mental illness.
I'm back from the boat shed. What a great time my friend and I had. I did my first colored pencil landscape which I will post on my other blog. I need some feedback from EDMers.
It's wonderful in life to have special places to go to that energise you. The boatshed was magic the first day I went there. I remember seeing all the grasses and the water and everything was sparkling and alive with energy. At the time my creativity wasn't around and I found it hard to read more than a few lines. There was a book of short stories on the shelf in the boatshed. I remember sitting and reading a whole story while my friend read a paper and rested. I was so thrilled with reading a story. I repeated the performance a number of times after that. Nowadays I can read for ages no problems but back then I wondered if I'd ever be able to read much again. Yep a magical place....oh yes and a magical friend owns it. I am very blessed to have her in my life. i have grown much since I have known her.

Lots of love from Susan in Australia

Creative days

This little embroidery I did as a quick 10 minute embroidery. I'm going to put it on one of my windcheaters I wear around the house.
What a fabulous 10 out of 10 day I have had today and it still isn't over. I decided I could do whatever I wanted for the day except the dishes which were a must. I often have a long to do list for the day. The reason for the to do lists was that with my mental illness I'd often wake feeling very flat and not knowing what to do with my day. Over 3 years ago I was put on new medication that took away my creativity. I couldn't cook anything other than frozen meals and tinned food and simple vegie dishes, I couldn't do any art work or craft, no gardening, nothing creative. It was shocking as I have been a very creative person all my life. When I got my computer 18 months ago my creativity switched back on like an electric light. It lasted a few days and then disappeared again. Over the past months the creativity has lasted for longer and longer periods. I am now creative everyday and it is wonderful. When I lost my creativity I had to sit down and write down what I needed to do for the day. I couldn't just play my way through the day. I would sit on the couch and not understand what to do. I have tended to keep the lists going for the day. Now I am getting more confident with my new found creativity I realise I can just get up and play my way through the day. I am loving all my creative activities ...cooking, knitting, embroidering, collaging and my absolute passion my writing. Now there is something interesting I never lost my ability to write!!! It has kept me going all this time...blessed be.
Nowadays I count my blessings often...all my creativity that I have learnt can jsut disappear. I value my senses, my ability to see and hear and feel.
time to get on the exercise bike before tea. i've already done my lovely trip to the beach.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia
PS I am going to be here a lot more in the future. My creativity has moved into another new level. I love the transformation....blessed be.
A special thanks to all those people who have encouraged me to keep this blog. I am getting so much wonderful feedback from people particularly those who have or do suffer from mental illness.

Embroidery

Just emailed the Everydaymatters yahoo group about some inspiration for my emboidery. I was wondering if anyone knew of some good websites, yahoo groups, etc that can inpsire me the way EDM does.
I've decided to keep my other blog.... A prayerful life for my drawings and to use this blog to include my other art work....collage, embroidery, photography, etc.
My mood has been good now for over 7 weeks...it's just so amazing. I believe it is the omega 3 capsules I am taking. There is a lot of good evidence for it on the internet. The psychiatrist is rather sceptical about it which is disappointing as I am so pleased about how I am going. I haven't been this well since I was 15 years old.
I've joined in a wonderful challenge for my art work called Everyday in May....participators are challenged to do something creative every day in May. At first I didn't think I could do it as I usually only do my drawings once a week. I mentioned to EDM that I was knitting and someone pointed out that knitting is creative....silly me...I knit most days.
I have set up the dining table with my collages, drawing and water colors and embroidery and I am doing a little bit each day. I have tried this in the past and I usually go into a quiet, down time and I don't do any art or creative work. Most people have advised me to go with the flow but I would love to be able to keep my creativity going during my quieter moods.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia