I haven't a clue why my blog feels like I have company as opposed to writing in one of my journals.It feels friendlier.
I've had a pleasant day today. I had a phonecall from a friend, I went to the Embroiderers Guild for a discussion and show and tell time at what people have found in op shops (second hand shops). I then visited a friend for coffee on the way home. I caught up on a lot of lovely warm and encouraging emails and then went to my mum's for tea and to spend the evening. All in all a lovely day.
I keep trying to capture these days to help me through my flatter times. I am extremely grateful for these happier times but I want to get better at my flat times.
I've been keeping a mood diary for the doctor for the new medication I'm on and apart from writing 1-10 for how i feel and feeling even more despondent seeing a whole row of low days I decided to make a little note of something major that I achieved on the low day. I visit friends, I participate in groups, I go to the movies, I pay my bills and keep up with house maintenance. I'm doing really well on those flatter days. It just feels bad. I'm beginning to see the difference between my feelings and my actions. I tend to think if I feel bad that my life is bad and it isn't the case. In the old days I used to stay home and sit and do nothing whereas I have learnt to make the effort regardless of my moods and I am seeing a great difference.
When I feel flatter I don't tend to do my art work or creative things but I am enjoying picking them up again each time I go through a cycle. I am getting better at going with the flow.
I am trying to learn to appreciate the times when I am quieter and am less active and don't achieve much but am being more reflective. I am trying to learn to appreciate these times because there are so many of them. I used to get suicidal in the old days and that doesn't happen anymore so i have come a long way.
Time for bed.
Lots of love from Susan in Australia
3 comments:
You left a nice comment on my blog so I thought I'd drop by and see what you were up to. Then I wasn't sure if you would like it if someone said hello and disturbed your blogging peace..and finally I thought, I will just send an internet-type hug and tell you to try to keep smiling xx
"I haven't a clue why my blog feels like I have company as opposed to writing in one of my journals."
Because you get replies and you know that we are there for you and hear you. I am the same with mine.
http://natalief.livejournal.com/
You will need to let me know your openID or livejournal name to read the more private stuff, though...
It is awesome how far I have come in managing my quiet time. I am far less despondent and the negativity is really minimal. I thank my spiritual advisor and angel counsellor for this growth including me of course.
lots of love from susan in australia
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