daily valium

Had a bit of a crisis where the rapid thoughts got really bad and I reached out to a friend who helped me realise I need to see the doctor. the doctor suggested a low dose of valium morning and night to see if that helps me. Have made an appointment to Skype the psychiatrist in a couple of weeks. I just need to know how to self medicate with valium to help me through these stages. Still going really well with my healthy lifestyle. Trying to work with my daily dance but huge blocks to me being able to dance freely. This is all leading to my past issues with dance in my life. My masseuse mentioned a vision of me dancing with someone. suddenly realise it was with my dad as a child xoxo susanJOY

Low dose valium

Dear readers, The latest step in helping with my rapid cycling bipolar is to take 2 mg of valium during the day and the other day took two lots of 2 mg with a few hours interval. I was feeling edgy, with racing thoughts and had very little sleep that day. I find the low dose as opposed to the 5-10 mg at bedtimes sometimes to be helpful. I've only done two doses once but will see if I have the edgy feeling again and will try the same approach. I know the dosages I take are very low compared to others I have seen online and offline but it works for me at the moment. I think a dear online FB friend may have passed away. We have long chats on FB when I am manic and he has been such a blessing in my life. I do hope that he is just ill and is OK but I get the feeling that isn't so. Friendships mean so much to me in helping give my life purpose and meaning lots of love from susanJOY

My friend for 59 years

Dear Beloved, My friend I met 59 years ago came for a four hour visit this week and it was awesome catching up. we hadn't done this for 15 months but we got together and it was like we hadn't been apart. It is incredible having a friend of such long standing. I wish she lived closer but I am glad she can travel to see me. It's been another great second week of 20 minute intervals of movement. I am into my course by LEslie Zehr and this week just started a month with Jamie Ridler's course Awakenings. Had my first salad from Choice meals and it was delicious as even indulged in the dressings they sent. That's all for this week. Sending you so much love from susanJOY

It's been a long time

Dear Beloved, I've been having to rest for huge amounts of time and stopped seeing a lot of my friends and cancelled going away and many other changes for the past 18 months. In the past few weeks I have been feeling much better having decided that I do not want a downhill slide into walking sticks, no car, being housebound. I have rallied and now exercise around the home every 20 minutes. I have discovered sacred dance and am enthused where that will take me this year and beyond. My words for the year are "ease" and "dance". I am now eating in silence and not having sweet treats after dinner which hasn't happened since I was breast fed!!! Anyway enough from me. Hoping you are going well and I'll be back next week. Lots of love from susanJOY

Beach visits

Dear friends, I am back visiting the beach for my walks. I am also having time to sit and reflect, take in the view and journal. Also taking photos like this one. it is such a joy for me to be back down the beach lots of love from susanJOY

My journals

Dear friends, It has been a long time since I have been here. No longer interested in blogging but my dear friend Jamie Ridler and others are interested in all the journals I use. I counted 23 but I think there are more.... *yearly diary keeps track of commitments for the year...a month per double page *weekly diary records the weeks commitments on a single page *daily journal records what is happening through my day *special happenings journal for things that happen in my days that are extra special like visiting a gallery, my birthday celebrations *night journal records in 2 or 3 lines what I am grateful for about my day *mood journal records my zippy / manic & quiet often down times that I want to understand or remember about my rapid cycling bipolar *spiritual director journal that records what issues I am dealing with with my spiritual director *reading journal records what I am reading. This hasn't been kept up as I read so much *movies journal records movies I see. Am now only listing special ones as I see so many *visitors journal lists visitors that come for the first or second time or a special event *anonymous friend journal is a journal for things important to my relationship with one of my friends *grief journal is for things I am grieving about. The loss of a friend *the death of my mum journal. My mum hasn't died yet but am already writing little things to help me when she dies *problems journal lists problems I have that I need to sort out and need extra attention from my daily journal *my beloved journal is a journal written to my beloved. I am single and never married but often think of my beloved and I write about things I would like to say to him if he were here *special issues journal. Every so often I have something I want to sort through that isn't a problem and I do it here *travel journal where I work out my next trips away and ideas for trips *poetry journal where I keep my poems *journal at mum's where I write inside beautifully illustrated books *eating disorder journal where I deal with my eating disorder and anxiety disorder *spiritual journal where I journal about my spiritual journey *bible studies journal where I make notes about my bible studies *hand bag journal where I write when I am out and about *online / creativity journal where I write what happens with Jamie and other online creatives and my own journey *dream journal where I write about my night dreams *home journal when I write about my home days when I don't go out and they are special days not ordinary days. I now have SUndays as a home day and write here *walk journal where I write about my walks *spirit guide journal where I write about my spiritual guides and happenings with nature, etc *seasons and the moon journal where I write about the seasonal changes and the moons travels each month *travel journal when I am away *artist journals...I have numerous artist journals and I paint, collage, draw *sketch journal with my sketching in Goodness I think that is enough. as you can see I love, love, love writing hope this inspires love from susanJOY

Dear anonymous

Dear anonymous, I've lost direction with what to do with my blog and would not be here if it wasn't for you. I love our contact so here I am. I am so glad you have a loving and healthy family. My major news is I met up with an old high school friend I remet on facebook. we lost contact 30 years ago and got back in touch thanks to her. funny though as she sent me a message 2 years ago and I didn't know how to use facebook properly so the message just sat there unread until a few weeks ago. when we got together it was fantastic and we talked for 3 hours. she made me feel so good about my life and my journey and she has done really well also. lots of love from susanJOY